I LOVE WHITNEY. I've never watched the Hills (oops) but I have watched every episode of the City. I couldn't get enough of Whitney's outfits, nails!!, and her fashion career journey in New York City. And now she is back with "The Hills: New Beginnings", as a mom!
Whitney has launched a Youtube channel, "I love my baby but..." when she was a few months pregnant. The first episode shows a very raw, real Whitney, exhausted from morning sickness, complaining to her husband in bed. The episode did so well that she made many many more episodes on her pregnancy, showing the 'reality' of it, sitting down with experts, and giving great tips to moms to be.
I am SO HAPPY that I got to chat with Whitney on her pregnancy, birth, and transition into motherhood. Hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did! You can find the video of this interview @themillennialbump's IGTV.
NS: At what point did you decide to make "I love my baby but..." I long-term project? Was that your intention when you were filming the first episode?
WP: No it wasn't at all. I think it was probably by the third episode that we put out that we started to realize that a lot of people were tuning in and actually needed to hear what we were saying. A lot of new moms and soon-to-be moms were starving for this kind of validation. So we decided to keep doing it at least until we had the baby. Once we had the baby, so many things came up. Because once you have the baby, the issues don't stop! The ongoing issues are #momguilt, having to work, balancing the time between following your dreams and being a mom. But there aren't as many, for me at least, sensitive topics to touch on.
NS: What kind of questions or comments were you getting from your followers during your pregnancy?
WP: It ranged, it definitely depends on what episode we put out there. A lot of people gave advice, and a lot of people wanted to know specific things. For instance, when I was talking about my first trimester morning sickness, most people wanted to know what I did to get rid of it. They wanted product suggestions, or things to eat or drink to help. A lot of people gave advice too, one person told me to eat Jolly Ranchers, and that really helped me.
The comments that I would get were more like "I agree with you" type of comments, more than even questions or advice. It was mostly validation.
NS: I feel like that must have helped you as a pregnant woman, to get all that support.
WP: Exactly. It's such a new thing, you don't want to be isolated. you don't have friends that are pregnant with you at this same time. You really don't have a lot of people to turn to in your circle.
NS: Did you find yourself researching pregnancy-related topics for "I love my baby but" episodes?
WP: No, I'm the type of person who doesn't feel the need to read a bunch, or know a ton of information, because all that information overwhelms me, then I get a bunch of opinions and I don't know who to listen to. I try to just listen to my doctor, and also just go with my gut and have the conversations with my husband to do what we think is best. I did download the Baby Center App, it was the one thing that I actually logged in to. It gave me each week what to look for, what was happening in my body, but that was it.
NS: Social media can be a powerful tool for pregnant women, but it can also be the opposite. What do you think of the way pregnancy is represented and dissected in social media?
WP: For the most part I feel like women have become more and more supportive of different choices that we are making. The majority of the women who follow me are very supportive. I do have a problem with people who are passive aggressive and give opinions that either I'm not doing something the right way or they would have done things differently, and that can be subconsciously harmful to someone's self esteem and make them doubt themselves. I feel like it is a very powerful thing, what I have done on social media has mostly helped people, but sometimes I second guess certain decisions I make because I know there are some people out there that don't agree with me.
NS: You share on your channels the thing that you had no idea about when you were pregnant—such as you don't have to go to the hospital when your water breaks, how morning sickness could last for months and not just a few days, or how nurses are amazing in the delivery room. Why do you think women are not better prepared entering pregnancy, what are we missing?
WP: I think the answer is two fold. Number one, because everybody has a different experience people are too afraid to put things out there that represent pregnancy as a whole. In every stage of pregnancy and labor, things can happen differently for a person. It's almost too much information to cover for there to be one place to go for an accurate representation for it.
Number two, nobody really wants to talk about the stuff that they are going through until they are actually going through it. What would be the use of someone scaring me about pregnancy and labor and giving me all the things that can go wrong when I'm not even pregnant yet? So it's not until you're pregnant that you start to search for information, and the information that's out there may not cover your specific situation, because it is so unique to you.
NS: But I like your channel mainly for that reason, that you give them such a raw, realistic, and unique perspective into pregnancy. It's not something that women can easily find in mass media or the movies.
WP: I think there is a lot of representations in the media about being a parent and how hard being a parent is. But there's not necessarily representations about women that are really scared to have a baby. There are representations like "Knocked Up", for instance. She is obviously really scared of having a baby because she got knocked up by a guy who she had a one night stand with. But where is the representation of the woman like me who has a husband, has everything normal happening, and doesn't have an excuse for being scared about it. What's my excuse?
NS: How did you pick your medical care team? How did you decide on a doctor and a hospital?
WP: I have seen the same gynecologist for ten years and he actually was the gynecologist that delivered me! He stopped delivering babies, so he referred me someone in the office. I wanted a woman, I met with a few people in the office and connected with this woman that was soft spoken and sweet, I felt like she was a good listener and made good eye contact. I knew that I'd be comfortable asking her anything. I think that's so important that you feel comfortable being totally vulnerable with your health care provider.
I chose the hospital based on my sister-in-law having her baby there. When she had a baby there it was very quiet, it didn't feel like a factory. There's this one hospital in LA, Cedars Sinai, that is just so busy, the rooms are so tiny, I knew that I'd just be another rando. So I chose St. John's in Santa Monica, one I was living in Venice at the time so it was the closest one to me, and I also knew that it would be a more calming experience. I knew I definitely wanted to be in a hospital, I wanted to have access to everything that the hospital provides.
NS: Did you have a doula?
WP: I didn't have a doula. I wouldn't do well with that type of personality. Before Erica Chidi Cohen started Loom, she had these intensive weekend workshops, where you and your husband go for two days and learn all about labor. So we did that class, and she taught it and she was so amazing and knowledgable. I would recommend that to everybody that can go to somebody like that. Even though you get so much information, it made things so much less scary for me and for Timmy.
My friend Jessie Delow, she is one of the founders of @howyouglow, reached out to me and told me that she was doing this class and asked me if I wanted to join her. She is such a sweet soft soul, I felt like if she is doing this it's something that can be trusted. So that's how I found Erica's class.
NS: We have great resources for information and support in Los Angeles when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth. What do you recommend for women who do not have access to such resources?
WP: Social media is a very powerful thing. I'd suggest finding the accounts that give tips and support women that way. Follow Erica's work, listen to podcasts, search the web for such accounts.
NS: Did you have a favorite pregnancy book?
WP: I didn't read any of them. I only used Baby Center App, it was amazing during my pregnancy and it still is amazing for me. I would recommend Loom and going to their classes. There's a new place called WMN Space in Culver City, that's a great resource and account for women to follow.
NS: Who was your biggest support during your pregnancy, aside from your husband Timmy?
WP: Yeah Timmy is an all-star. I would say my mom. I'm one of five kids, she always told me to be easy on my self and to really try not to compare my journey to anyone else's, and that was very important for me to hear. Even now as parents we can be so hard on ourselves and constantly looking at what everybody else is doing and thinking that what we are doing is not good enough. It's a very slippery slope and dangerous. So my mom always tried to remind me that I knew what I was doing and I needed to just trust myself more.
NS: I thought your birth episode was amazing, it was so informative, you shared so much on how labor works, what happens in a hospital room, great content!! Have you watched anything like that when you were pregnant? Real content that informed you on pregnancy and birth?
WP: Nothing. I know that sounds crazy but the more information I knew the more scared I would be. Even though I feel like, God, if I could watch my channel as a stranger how good that would make me feel. I didn't know even how to find any of that. I think that people in similar positions that have platforms like mine already should be doing more of this type of thing, because you have such a huge audience you could empower and teach so many people.
I know this sounds crazy but, I watch the Kardashians and follow what they are going through, they all had so many kids, they never showed what it was like to have a kid or what it's like to balance being a parent. Granted their situation is likely very different than everyone else's because they have the means to have a lot of care and resources. Even when Kim talks about her pregnancy being physically difficult I think that's powerful. More people in this position should share what's really going on with them.
NS: Funny story, one of the nurses I interviewed told me that women keep asking if they can pull out their babies like Kourtney did!
WP: That is so insane!! It probably doesn't work that well :)
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